You stick to your yoghurts, I'll stick to my apple pie

Starting from the logical beginning of this tale, I started 2010 with an interview for a job I really seriously thought I would never get. The job is a Nursing Assistant in a Medium secure unit, working alongside offenders who are suffering from Mental Health issues. MAJOR career opportunity, plus it's in the NHS (and yes I know, this next statement makes me about 45 but here goes), which has a great pension scheme which I can start investing in.

Anyway, I nervously went to have a look around a few days before my interview (a trick I learnt would help in getting jobs... the hard way). Anyway couple of days later I had the interview and they offered my the job on the spot. WAS DEAD CHUFFED. So I have yet to start this job what with Occupational Health checks (which my Mum informs me will include chest scans and Hepatitis jabs eeek) and CRB forms.


Then early Febuary I finally passed my driving test and became a fully fledged driver. This time tomorrow I will have a fully MOT-ed, insured and taxed car for me and Joe to drive around. This will defo help with me starting my new job as it's in Prestwich which is on the other side of Manchester. So the life plan so far is slowly starting to fall into place, even if it is a year slower than I would have hoped. Next on the agenda, pay off debts and move out. I'm starting to settle down into that next step taking a while, I want to move to City centre Manchester, live in a nice flat/house with nice things inside, and if it takes me a while to get there then so be it.

I've just had Sky plus installed in my room (Shameless should by my calculations, be being recorded as we speak), so I've kinda accepted that I will be at my Mum and Dads for the foreseeable future, and for now, thats ok with me.

The change of luck happened a couple of days ago when me and Daniel were simultaneously struck down by the 'Scotland cold', which has now resulted in a face full of aids. I am willing to take one for the team if I can be ensured that the rest of my year will continue as it has started.

P.S. For all that care, my beloved children Marley and Corrigan have been reunited in a most suprising and potentially deadly way. They had been seperated because Teenage angst had set in and the poor testosterone filled bunnies began fighting. Mother rabbit decided to try to diffuse the situation and remove their 'manhood', this was expensive and didn't even work. So what was thought to be a permanent thing, they were seperated to their very own layer of hutch each. HOWEVER, yesterday I went out to feed them to find both bunnies cosied up to one another! I was crapping my pants, there was evidence of a bit of a scrap (bunny fur EVERYWHERE), but with no actual injuries (just a few balding patches on their bums), they looked to now be the best of friends again.

RESULT. The £150 castration fee paid off then. Yeay.

On my 'to read list'

I was reading about this in this months vogue. It sounds like a brilliant book, and I will most certainly be purchasing it. x

Brits.

So the Brits have been announced, and I'm sure no one cares, but heres who I think should win.


British Male Solo Artist
Dizzee Rascal

Now this bext one is tough, because I love like three of them, but I think Florence would have to win it, (despite my unusual love/hate relationship for her), but I think she has done amazingly well for herself in a year, and maybe she should be recognised for that.

British Female Solo Artist
Florence And The Machine

British Breakthrough Act
Friendly Fires

Kasabian's albulm is bloody brilliant, no matter how much I try to deny it. Also, after seeing them support Oasis last summer, they were undoubtedly awesome.
British Group
Kasabian

After having this albulm on repeat for about a year I think she deserves some credit for her fab lyrics.
British Album
It's Not Me, It's You by Lily Allen

If only for the fantastic PPQ dress in the video, and her ability to dance around in YSL platform heels.
British Single
The Fear by Lily Allen

Bloody love him, but doubt he'll actually win it.
International Male Solo Artist
Seasick Steve

Well she is a dick, but she's managed to get us all fascinated with her hasn't she.
International Female Solo Artist
Lady GaGa


International Breakthrough Act
Animal Collective


Shocking, but yes I think it's a good albulm, she is an ace singer as well.
International Album
The Fame by Lady GaGa

CHANEL-O

Oh dear lord. I am literally lusting after this makeup. Someone please buy it me.... (Valentines approaching...maybe daniel will.....fingers crossed).




In my head, I truly do believe that if I have all four of these things in my possesion I will have beautiful skin and will have glorious makeup that everyone will swoon over. (Isn't that the desired effect of makeup after all!?) Maybe not hey. I sure am going to start saving my Boots Advantage card points anyway.

Well 2010 is going be shit hot.

-Marina and the Diamonds at The Deaf Institute (Daniel has been given permission to maul her....well she is on his list).

-Scotland Holiday in Feb
-Driving test

-3 year Anniversary in March with the fabulous Daniel Cole (only another 7 until our Tom Jones/Las Vegas trip).

-POSSIBLY (if I get in) starting ANOTHER three year course in Mental Health Nursing.

-Holiday with the Liverpool guys in June (replacing Glastonbury coz we were shit and too hung over to book tickets).

-AND, a reluctant Muse gig somewhere in 2010 as well. Wish I'm hoping will be just as much fun as Oasis was last year; an adventure that included me and Alice having a fight with a scally, seeing more male geninitalia than ever before, Matt getting lost, and generally having too much fun to actually remember the bands at ALL.

2009 wasn't a bad year, but it wasn't great. I mostly waited around for my life to kick start itself, getting fat, missing my friends and cementing the most important friendship in my life right now.

DANIEL COLE. <3.

XXXX

Jim, please come and fix my life

At present I'm really struggling to figure out where I'm supposed to be going in life, or what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm slowly realising that maybe I'm not cut out to work in Care, or maybe it's just Learning Difficulties. This thought this making me doubt everything though? Does that mean I won't like Mental Health? Why can't life just be simple?

On top of all that, I'm in a job, dawdling along, making absolutely no money, paying back money I spent years ago, living with my parents. WHEN EVERYONE ELSE is moving up, growing up, moving on.

After three of the best years of my life I am right back where I was in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I (sometimes) love being back at home, but it literally breaks my heart to see all my friends becoming succesfull, moving out, getting cars, getting MORTGAGES! And I'm wiping bums, still can't drive, and will never be able to move out when I earn only £6.50 an hour.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

ANSWERS ON POSTCARDS PLEASE.

Crying over spilt plastic

Oh my lord. So basically, I have had the craziest weekend ever! Friday I am in work 2-10pm, the day starts off as normal. I cringe at my disgusting coloured hair, my dad makes me listen to 'James Morrison' on the way to taking me to work. Same old same old.

After a full week Daniel-less due to having no car (he'd put his beloved Stevie in for a general service), I was tres excited for him to get his car back and pick me up later that night from work. However, mid- medication time at work I get a phone call from him telling me that he had rang the garage and they told him that his car wouldn't be ready and would cost him over £300 to fix all the problems they found! The poor boys car is only worth about £500. So it was looking like Stevie is/was going to be scrapped. Well this little gem of information put a massive ki-bosh on the weekends plan of Liverpool/Joe/Rachael/Vintage Fair-ing/Gobowen-ing/House Warming/Aimee/Simon-ing.

ARRRRGGGHHH.

I put the phone down praying that it wouldn't cost that much for him to get insured either on his mum's car or my mum's car.

STRESS.

However, my traumatic evening wasn't over. At roughly 7pm I got a phone call from my Mum telling me that there had been a massive explosion at the factory literally just down the road from my house. As my mum was telling me all I could hear in the background were sirens and I was terrified. She said when it had initially exploded she thought the windows were going to shatter because it was soooo loud. We were later to find out that some people had called 999 thinking that a plane had crashed because the bang was soooo loud.

Anyway, all was fine, my mum said that neither my brother or my dad had been near the explosion (the factory is near Birch Lodge where my dad is forever swimming and my brother is always fishing). So my mind was put to rest. Mother Wyatt also reassured me that the rabbits hadn't had tiny rabbit heartattacks on hearing the noise.

As is predictable, the first thing I did was to put a Facebook status out saying what had happened. I started getting all these replies back about how people were getting evacuated. OH LORD. This wasn't the case for us (at this point). The whole time though I just wanted to rush home and be there, make sure everyone was ok. I am one of those people who just hates second hand information.

Finished work at 10pm, Daniel had managed to get insured on his mum's car (one trauma over). THE BLOODY ROAD WAS SHUT. I had to convince the policeman to let me through, which involved some pretty embarrasing running. We parked the car up, in preperation to walk the final distance to my house, to get a phone call from my mum telling me that the police were there and that we were getting evacuated and that I wasn't allowed to take my rabbits. My Mum told me that the police lady insisted that the evacuation was merely a precaution and that they would be fine, however, her and my Dad were taking the dogs. OH YEAH. LEAVE THEM THEN MOTHER IF EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. FUCK THE RABBITS, WE'LL HAVE A STEW TOMORROW IF ANYTHING HAPPENS.

Well, that was it, the flood gates opened. TEARS. TEARS. TEARS. I was absolutely terrified. Despite me being highly hormonal, it just made me realise that I am the most materialistic person EVER. All I could think about was all my stuff and how much I just wanted to get my rabbits and make sure they were ok. Daniel (poor lamb) was trying his best to try and calm me down, but in my anger all I kept saying was "Well, I'm going to sue the fire brigade, the factory and my mum if anything happens to Marley and Corrigan." HA! Why would I sue my Mum???? Ha!

Anyway, my Mum managed to grab Ted and some clean knickers for me. So life calmed down pretty much as soon as that happened. Daniel also treated me to Cheesey chips and garlic bread on the way back to his house, and life always seem better when that happens.

We found out the next day that over 100 firemen helped to put the fire out. CRAZY. This all happened in Birch Vale, where even the Post Office shut down because no-one lives there and is the most boring place in the world.